Zombies, the CDC, and You!

July 23, 2011

Recently, the CDC has a provided a wonderful resource to help prepare for an impeding zombie outbreak: http://www.bt.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_blog.asp.

While it’s definitely worth checking out, for me, it raised a few questions that they didn’t really answer.

The CDC, for instance, recommends having on hand one gallon of water per person per day, the same amount they recommend to prepare for tornado season. However, they don’t predict how long the zombie outbreak may last, so they weren’t specific about how many days of water we might need to store. After reading World War Z by Max Brooks, I’ve compiled a list of my own.

1. First of all, we all need some sort of hazardous materials suits. At the very least, keep a face shield and heavy duty rubber gloves on hand to prevent infection when you have to engage in close combat with the undead.
2. It would be most helpful to have a source of fresh water, like a well, one that does not require the use of a pump or other mechanism that might produce a sound. My best idea is to have a moat equipped with gas elements, much like a gas grill. If we were set upon by a zombie horde, we could seep gas into the moat, and light the elements for a nice ring of fire protection system. My son, another zombie expert, disagrees heartily with my plan, saying I’m more likely to blow MYSELF up than guard against any undead threat.
3. I love my house, I really do. I chose it for the amazing windows and the gorgeous light that comes in during the day. Now, I’m concerned the house is not defensible. Windows can allow the zombies easy entry from a number of access points- too many openings for our family of four to defend. So, my newest plan is to find a castle somewhere in Europe with a functioning well and an existing moat.

I’m having trouble gathering support from my teenagers who are not thrilled with the idea of moving to Transylvania, even when I point out it IS for the survival of the human race.  And it’s not like we need to stay. We’ll just move when the vampires wake up!

Carol V.
Platte City Branch