The Top 3 ½ Reasons that my Hometown is Better than Yours

September 09, 2011

Let’s be honest folks, Top Ten lists are cliché. I mean, if you can’t support your point in at most 7 examples, then you weren’t really arguing from a point of strength to begin with. In that vein, I would like to suggest that there are 3 ½ quality reasons why my hometown, Rochester, NY, is better than yours.

1. All of Rochester, NY is water front property.  Even if it’s not supposed to be.

Rochester sits on a Great Lake. Not an okay lake, not a kinda sorta lake, but a GREAT lake. Sure the algae levels are so high you can’t swim in it, and the toxic sludge makes eating anything that comes out of it a huge roll of the dice, but it still looks pretty through protective glass. 
 
What may be even more impressive, however, is Rochester’s steadfast determination to not concede to the whimsy of geography. After discovering that they had been separated from the Hudson River by a teensy little land mass called the "State of New York", Rochestarians responded with a cry of "Here’s mud in your eye, Nature!" and ground out a channel straight through town central, thus extending the Erie Canal to a part of the country no one was in a hurry to get to in the first place.

2. We put gravy on our French Fries.

It probably goes without saying that a world without gravy is a lesser world indeed. Not quite a soup, not really a solid, it still stands as practically its own food group. A foodstuff so terrific, it makes you question as to whether or not it could ever be improved upon.

To which Rochester responds emphatically:  "Would you like fries with that?!?!?" 

Sometimes known as Poutine, this little slice of Canadian cuisine has lodged its way – literally I’m afraid-- into the hearts of Western New Yorkers.  But a state with the worst annual snowfall in the United States can use all the comfort foods it can get, so please forgive us this excess.

3. We invented photography!

Okay, maybe invented is too strong word, so we'll concede that modern photography was heavily influenced by Rochester’s own George Eastman instead. It was here in the Flower City that Mr. Eastman produces the ever famous "Brownie" camera, making it easier for folks at large to take pictures in their leisure time. Eastman fanatics also like to point out that he achieved his majestic feat years ahead of his well-known rivals, Joe Polaroid and Mike Fujifilm.

3 ½.  Did we mention that whole gravy fry thing?

As always, rebuttals are welcomed!

Rick G.
Platte City Branch