Playoffs? Don't Talk About - Playoffs? You Kidding Me? Playoffs??

January 17, 2011

And thus it happened, as it does this time EVERY year, the NFL has advanced forward into another round of football playoffs. And thus it happened, as it seems to happen EVERY year, your team did not advance with them. 

Sure, you’ll watch the remaining games, the Super Bowl,  and maybe even the Pro Bowl --though, I don’t know anyone whose level of pigskin addiction requires them to view that train wreck – but for most of us, this is the end.  

A huddled mass of football fans, staring out into the bleak winter misery of February, each pondering in their own way the age old query:

What do we do now?

Below are a few suggestions of how to fill the void and help you cope with the off-season. 

Hang out with your spouse.  

Your wife has been very patient with you this year. 

The dishwasher remained unloaded, and she didn’t yell. Your lawn has been covered in leaves since early November, and she simply fielded the calls from your housing association with a smile. For all the screaming at bonehead referees, the curious disappearance of every potato related product in the kitchen, and for just generally giving her a cold shoulder for three months, you owe her.  

You may not have heard her, but during the second quarter of last week’s game, she mentioned  a chick flick she wanted go see.

It’s the kind of movie you swore off years ago. It’s the kind of movie that makes you want to find George Eastman and kick him in the shins for inventing film.  It’s going to be the two longest hours of your adult life. 

And, it’s time to pay the piper.

Work some overtime 

Remember all those Thursday afternoons spent deliberating over your fantasy football  team?  Do I start Vick or Matt Ryan?  Vick…Ryan…Viccckkkk….Ryyyyaannn…. Only to replace them both with "that Freeman kid who used to play in Kansas somewhere ".   

It has been said that the average Fantasy football player costs his employer $45 a week in lost productivity. So, while everyone at work appreciates the paper trophy you display on your desk, it’s time you gave a little bit of that lost time back. 

Who knows, if the boss sees you working all those extra hours, you may even earn yourself a raise!   

Wait for Pitchers and Catchers to report

The only thing better than waiting for your favorite football team to perennially disappoint you would be to have your favorite baseball team make the football team look like over-achievers by comparison.

Still, as fans we can’t help who we love. In spite of our better judgment, we will continue to support our teams through thick and thin. 

So circle February 14th on the calendar, and remind yourself that at this point in the season everyone has the same record. 

You may also want to buy your spouse a really nice gift on this day since both she and your dishwasher will once again be given the cold shoulder for months on end.    

Rick G.
Parkville Branch