The New Social Technology... Are We Making Friends or Losing Them?

November 25, 2012

Lately I have been giving a lot of thought to relationships, particularly friendships in adulthood, and the way they seem to be rapidly changing given our newer means of communicating with one another. With technology such as texting and Facebook so easily connecting us to one another, I have noticed in my personal life that it is often replacing, dare I say, better forms of human interaction such as hearing someone’s voice on the telephone or even meeting in person to interact. I can’t help but wonder if the art of friendship and real relationships is deteriorating. I do not say this lightly or from inexperience. Yesterday, a friend of approximately 19 years decided our friendship was not worth trying for anymore. This came after a rocky year-long frustration I had at not being able to connect with her anymore by traditional ways. All I was granted was this new, colder, electronic version of friendship. It did not bode well with me.

Some may think that I need to "get with the times," but recently I have looked up articles, superior to my own, that have also voiced similar concerns. I also love quotes and poetry, and so, I went in search of those forms of words of wisdom. I found many I liked but will share this one:

"A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely." Pam Brown

Someone here at work just gave me an encouraging complement without even knowing the loss I have felt. They said I was very bright and positive today. That means a lot because while I cannot control or change the current status of the relationship with my friend; I am doing my best to use this experience as a learning opportunity. I have already begun trying to better myself by branching out more. Last night, I attended a MCPL event for work and also met some new people. Today, I am going to my first book club meeting ever with the same goals in mind. I have also browsed the MCPL catalog for books to help me educate myself on how I can nurture my current friendships, as well as build new ones in adulthood. I am going to try and stay true to that old Girl Scout motto and "make new friends and keep the old." Here are a few books on my list to read:

The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making, and Keeping Friends When You're Not a Kid Anymore by Marla Paul
Friendship for Grown-ups: What I Missed and Learned Along the Way by Lisa Whelchel
The Art of Friendship: 70 Simple Rules for Making Meaningful Connections by Roger Horchow

Laura J.
Boardwalk Branch