Awesomely Bad Poetry

August 08, 2012

I did some research to get ready for Bad Poetry Day, which is August 18, and apparently, a good contender for worst poet ever is Scotsman, William McGonagall. Around 1877, when he was about 50 years old (it’s hard to say for sure, because his exact birthdate is unknown), he believed God spoke to him and told him to write; and that’s what he did for the rest of his life, which amounted to about 25 more years. McGonagall seemed oblivious to all criticisms of his work and retained an amazing level of self-confidence in his abilities as a writer. He traveled around doing readings of his poetry, being pelted with dead fish and rotten vegetables. I imagine he was like one of those American Idol contestants that are skin-peeling bad, but can’t believe they’re not moving on to the next round.

Here’s a selection from McGonagall’s poem "Jottings of New York”:

Oh, mighty city of New York, you are wonderful to behold–
Your buildings are magnificent– the truth be it told–
They were the only thing that seemed to arrest my eye,
Because many of them are thirteen storeys high;
And as for Central Park, it is lovely to be seen–
Especially in the summer season when its shrubberies are green
And the Burns Statue is there to be seen,
Surrounded by trees on the beautiful sward so green;
Also Shakespeare and the immortal Sir Walter Scott,
Which by Scotchmen and Englishmen will never be forgot.

And this is from his "The Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay":

Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay!
That has caused the Emperor of Brazil to leave
His home far away, incognito in his dress,
And view thee ere he passed along en route to Inverness.
Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay!
The longest of the present day
That has ever crossed o’er a tidal river stream,
Most gigantic to be seen,
Near by Dundee and the Magdalen Green.

For Bad Poetry Day, why not check out one of the websites dedicated to McGonagall, or if you’re a spoilsport, check out some books from MCPL that actually contain "good" poetry.

Sandra P.
Blue Springs North Branch